For past three days, company had sent me to Eastin Hotel for PCB design certification. All the participant there have at least more than 3 years in PCB design, I am the only one that do not have PCB design experience. Instructor is from my previous training centre, she taught me analog chip layout before. She also feel surprise that I come for this training. She asked me why I did not continue my IC design. I cannot answer her, actually I am not keen in searching IC design job previously. Of course, I cannot tell her that. I found that I am really ridiculous, because always jump from 1 thing to the other thing which is totally new. Will my life continue like this? Always learning? I feeling sad, I failed the exam, do not know what will my boss say about this. What is the problem with me? Although past three days, I was very happy, can eat variety of food in hotel. I already put on a lot of weight this week. Argh, what will my ballet teacher say again? Do not have certification for PCB, what will they say. Haih, do not want to think about it anymore.
Yesterday's the whole course finished after we review our result, and I went to Queensbay mall around 3 pm. I went to Borders to look at dance magazine, dancing times and pointe magazine. I found that my passion toward ballet more than everything else. Another question come to me, ballet is my forever dream, as I grow older, the chance to fulfill my dream will be lesser. Will I regret someday for not trying to pursue my dream. I started to feel worry about this. I saw an advertisement on diploma and degree in ballet at dance magazine malaysia. And I see this is a chance for me to advance my ballet. But the entry requirement must be between 16-25 years old. Oh gosh, I am 24 now. I only have 1 year to try it. I really worry about it.
My previous plan is work-> save money->futher study in ballet-> ballet teaching. As they have age limit, then I need to change my plan. I want to go to Nan yang school of fine art in Singapore to study ballet. Reality come to my mind, I need to pay my car loan, PTPTN, insurans, and need to pay my accomodation, fees if i want to study there. Reality is cruel. Although my mom said she can withdraw her Central Provident Fund and sell all her share and continue working for me. But I really do not want to use her money. It will really cost a lot of money.
Further more, I just got into my company, it is not good for me to leave current company so soon. Many obstacle that block my way to fulfill my dream. Another thing is I only have passion but I don't have talent in ballet. Will they accept me, that is another thing. I am still thinking whether I should try to apply and go for audition or not..........
Sometimes, you miss the chance, you will never have second chance for it....really need to think about it.
