Sunday, 14 June 2015

Character vs Personality

  Recently I attended an interview that require me to do some personality test. It test your suitability to the job. You have to choose the sequence that best described you. I found it ridiculous at first, but when I continue to think about it, this is not the best way to know a person but it is necessary to recruit a suitable person for particular job.

  This is an interesting assessment but I always confuse with my own personality so I do not think I do well in this test. So I decided to find out my real personality and character and started my research on this topic.

  First, I need to know what is the difference between character and personality. The word personality originated from Latin word persona, meaning mask. It is the image that one presents in front of others. One's personality can and may change at some point in life.

   Character is something within you and is always there . Character takes far longer to puzzle out. One's character normally moulded depending on his environment.The word character derived from ancient greek (χαρακτήρ).

  I always eager in find out what is my personality. My personality easily influenced by the environment, by people. I want to know more about myself, it is something that can decide out fate and our path. Just like what stated in Sun Tzu's The Art of War : “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” (知己知彼,百战不殆) I always keep this in mind.

   To understand yourself, you need to know about your character flaw, personality defect or even some personality disorder. It is a key point to decide whether you will fail or success in life. Two different people who come from same background, same environment and same IQ, but at the end one succeeded, one failed, why? This is because of the two different character, two fate. The successful people good in observation and they know how to analyse themselves and others' personality or character. Or what you can say, they can read people. You can always change your personality, I believe that it is something that can be controlled. Sometimes you need to have different experience or throw yourself into new environment to do that.天降大任于斯人也, 必先苦其心志, 劳其筋骨, 饿其体肤。 Sometimes you have to experience some difficulties in order to be success. It is the best training to your mentality and make you stronger from inner side, so called inner strength.

Below is the personality test from Dr Phil who gave on Oprah. You can try it. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees.

Dr Phil's test begin..


1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon & and early evening
c) late at night 

 
2. You usually walk
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly


3. When talking to people you
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair


4. When relaxing, you sit with
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you


5. When something really amuses you, you react with
a) a big, appreciative laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile


6. When you go to a party or social gathering
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed


7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted; do you ...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes


8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray


9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers


10. You often dream that you are
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
 

Now add up the total number of points.
OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone the should "handle with care". You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement your radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

I got 44 points. How many points have you got?
   There are many people who see me as a quiet, shy and introvert girls who hardly open my mouth. But to some people, I am outgoing, talkative girl. Sometimes, I become confuse, why I act differently in different environment? Which one is my real personality? Sometimes I am very active, sometimes I can just sit quietly and by my own for whole day! But human behaviour is something very complicated which need a lot of informations and take time to analyse.
   Well, there are few types of personality disorders. 

1. Paranoid Personality Disorder
    You may feel very suspicious of others without there being a reason to be. This suspicion can make you feel other people are lying to you. 
  
2. Schizoid Personality Disorder
    With schizoid personality disorder, you may have few social relationships and will prefer to be  alone. You might actually be very shy, but other people may think you are quite cold and distant.
3. Dependent Personality Disorder
  You may allow other people to take responsibility for parts of your life. You may lack self confidence or unable to do thing alone. You may find that you put your own needs second to the needs of others, and feel hopeless or fear being alone.


4. Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
 You may feel anxious about issue that seems organized or messy. Everything you do must be just right, and nothing can be left to chance. You may be overly cautious about things and be preoccupied with detail.  Others may view you as being controlling. 

5. Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Narcissistic personality disorder can mean you have a sense of inflated self-importance. You may have fantasies about unlimited success and want attention and admiration. You may feel you are more entitled to things than other people, and act selfishly to gain such success. You may do this because inside, you don’t feel significant or important.

6. Multiple Personality Disorder
 Two or more identities or personality states


There is one more personality which I call it cycloid personality which I am really interested of which is quite close to my behaviour. I also think of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) , but this is normally occur on children. I  do not have this problem at all during my childhood. Lets talk about Cyclothymia. It is characterized by numerous mood swings, with periods of hypomanic symptoms that do not meet criteria for a hypomanic episode.

Hypomanic episodes. Symptoms of the hypomanic episode include unusually good mood or cheerfulness (euphoria), extreme optimism, inflated self-esteem, rapid speech, racing thoughts, aggressive or hostile behavior, lack of consideration for others, agitation, massively increased physical activity, risky behavior, spending sprees, increased drive to perform or achieve goals, increased sexual drive, decreased need for sleep, tendency to be easily distracted, and inability to concentrate.

Depressive/dysthymic episodes. Symptoms of the depressive/dysthymic phase include difficulty making decisions, problems concentrating, poor memory recall, guilt, self-criticism, low self-esteem, pessimism, self-destructive thinking, constant sadness, apathy, hopelessness, helplessness and irritability. Also common are quick temper, poor judgment, lack of motivation, social withdrawal, appetite change, lack of sexual desire, self-neglect, fatigue, insomnia and sleepiness.

Cycloid personality is something that swing between hypomanic and depressive which is quite common in many people. One of the example is Isaac Newton. 

The latest part is more toward analysis of personality disorder instead of the normal personality. But it can be a reference to most of the people too. Enjoy the journey of discovering yourself...




 

 

Tuesday, 31 March 2015

一棵开花的树


今天突然又想起了席慕容的诗,我喜欢了十多年的诗。至今依然是我的最爱,最有感觉的诗。可能是与佛有关吧! 也可能是因为我自小就喜欢轮回之类的故事。

《一颗开花的树》
如何让你遇见我
在我最美丽的时刻


为这
我已在佛前求了五百年
求佛让我们结一段尘缘
佛于是把我化做一棵树
长在你必经的路旁
阳光下
慎重地开满了花
朵朵都是我前世的盼望
当你走近
请你细听
那颤抖的叶
是我等待的热情


而当你终于无视地走过
朋友啊
那不是花瓣
那是我凋零的心

不知道为什么对这首诗,就这么有感觉。觉得那棵树好可怜,百般的祈求,漫长的等待,换来的却不是想要的结果。可以从这首诗中看到对爱的执着,我其实还蛮羡慕这种感情。理性方面又觉得好愚昧,完全不理解这种感情。怎么知道对方值不值得你去爱,去等待呢?毕竟对方也是充满了缺点的凡人。而且,人是会变的,人类的感觉会说变就变,没有所谓美好的永恒。但是很多人都保持着只羡鸳鸯不羡仙的渴望,无可否认,这是人类的本能。看不破,就只能沉沦。我是个很复杂的个体,各种想法时常在我的脑海里翻腾,就像不测的风雨,毫无预警的冒出来。我有时又不会觉得这是愚昧的,这世间没有绝对的对与错,这些取之于个人。只要那个人觉得幸福,旁人也没什么资格说什么。

也喜欢六祖慧能的诗;

菩提本无树,
明镜亦非台,
本来无一物,
何处惹尘埃。

一切有为法,如梦幻泡影,不应该妄想执著。执着有时会令人痛苦,无法解脱。

同时我又想起了玉琳国师的故事。小时候, 自佛学院借来的录影带-再世情缘。那一对痴情的人儿,经历了许多的痛苦,只因放不下那段感情,只因几世的情缘。玉琳国师的前世也在佛前求了很久,希望下一世可以变得好看,也为爱情而求。他如愿了,然而他却已佛根深种,普度众生是大爱。与他有前世情缘的格格却痴心不改,痴痴地跟着心上人,在一堆听经的人中,直到老去。

虽然明白一切皆空,但我就是愿意沉沦于这一切的幻象中,在红尘之中漂浮。自己还是不定性。我觉得爱上了芭蕾,让我彻底地改变,是这份执着让我沉沦,愈大愈大愈难以自拔。

还有彼岸花的故事也深深的吸引着我。

看见的熄灭了,消失的记住了-自王菲的歌

有花不见叶,叶生不见花,生生世世,花叶两相错。

情不为因果,缘注定生死。

佛曰:
梵语波罗蜜
此云到彼岸
解义离生灭
著境生灭起
如水有波浪
即名为此岸
离境无生灭
如水常流通
即名为彼岸
彼岸无生无死
无苦无悲
无欲无求
是个忘记一切的极乐世界
而有种花
超出三界外
不在五行中
生于弱水彼岸
炫灿绯红
那是彼岸花
彼岸花开
花开彼岸
花开无叶
叶生无花
想念相惜却不得相见
独自彼岸路 

下次想写彼岸花的故事,画一部关于它的漫画,让我的想象自由的奔腾。给自己一个功课 :)



 
 彼岸花

Sunday, 15 March 2015

集中突破,将热忱用在一件事上

这大概是我最难做到的事吧!

就像在哈佛大学的公开课上,一位同学闷闷不乐地向教授请教:‘为什么我在学业上如此花费心思,可是却收获甚微呢?
教授十分同情地说道:“平时我也注意到你的努力和用功了。”
“是啊!” 那位同学埋怨道, “我喜欢文学, 学了很多文艺理论的知识;我也喜欢科学,经常在实验室里做各种研究;我也喜欢金融,对于金融方面的知识也很有研究;同时我也喜欢心理学,所以您的课我一节也没落下...."

教授突然笑了起来,然后走到那位同学身边,拍了拍他的肩膀说:“这就是你收获甚微的原因!
如果你将自己的热忱集中在一件事情上,那你现在可能已是那个领域的顶尖人才了。”

他和我一样兴趣太多,几年前就知到应该把热忱集中,父母朋友也劝过了,想了这么多年,我到现还是决定不了,要把热忱集中在哪里。

人一生的时间有限,如果没有把热忱集中在一个坚定的目标,精力过于分散,在追求成功的过程中不断破坏与重塑,最终一无所获。


Wednesday, 7 January 2015

热忱

 刚从奥克兰市中心的图书馆借了一本书-------哈佛凌晨四点半升级版, 其中有一篇文章我觉得应该把它记下来。

在哈佛大学,曾经有一个著名的实验: 心理学教授对1500为学生进行了调查,调查的题目是“你选择自己的专业,是因为自己的爱好,还是想在将来赚更多的钱?”

那些被调查的学生中,245人选择是由于自己的爱好,有1255人选择了赚钱。

这项调查一直持续了10年,其主要目的就是想了解为了个人爱好和为了金钱而努力奋斗的结果是怎样的。

10年之后,调查结果出来。为了金钱而学习工作的人,只有一位成为真正的富翁, 而因为个人的爱好而学习和工作的245人中,有116位为富翁。

我也想为爱好而奋斗,但是自己却不了解自己真正想要什么,有时候爱好变成工作也不是一件好事。会觉得那其实不是自己想要的。人类就是这么复杂。

这本书上说哈佛的研究结果让我们知道,能够改变你的命运,让你成为富翁的唯一出路,就是做你喜欢的东西,对学习永远都保持热忱。 对于我们喜欢的东西,我们都会很积极很投入地去学习,我十分的赞同,因为我是个学习狂热者。

偶尔看一些励志的书,对自己的影响是正面的。